Ironic
as the title may be, I have been pondering, even wrestling with and obsessing
over this very question for months now. If I had spent a fraction of the time
writing as I spent in the emotional/mental ‘doldrums’ thinking about
writing...well, you know what I mean.
Having
completed my contract at the University, I have more discretionary time than
ever before. In response to the question, “What’s next?” I had shared with many
that I enjoyed writing blog posts and would be rejuvenating my “Positively Parkinsons”
soon. But, despite my best intentions, this has not materialized. So, why the
seeming immobilized state?
Time
to be brutally honest. Here are the causes/sources that I have considered for
my apparent writer’s block.
Maybe
this battle of the blog is simply a manifestation of the ever-evolving grip of
my Parkinson’s. Like the “frozen gait” that stops some of my PD pals in their
tracks; the mind says move but the legs don’t get the message. Or it could be like
the stiffness I experience when I forget to take my meds on time.
Moving
on to some of the non-motor symptoms of PD, perhaps it is fatigue that plagues
my sleep-deprived body of energy, leaving me spent at the end of most days with
no energy to be creative.
Or,
maybe it is the lurking devil of depression, which can lead to dreary and dark
thoughts of hopelessness and a “why bother” response to the challenge of
creating and refining a worthwhile blog post.
I
have been experiencing a crisis of confidence (not sure if it is a cause or an
affect). Is my writing worth publishing or posting? Am I any good at it? Is
this writing thing a thinly veiled attempt to attract attention, compliments
or, heaven forbid, pity? Is it worth the effort/time? Does it really encourage
people (whether with PD or not)? Am I just procrastinating, being lazy or
undisciplined? Maybe it’s just time to
move on.
All
these potential sources, unanswered questions, and more could be at play in my
“writer’s block”. So what do I do? This is
the question I leave with you. What is
your advice?
Posts
I appreciate what you have written in the past. I hope to read more of what you write in the future. Your words, written and spoken, have made a positive impact on my life. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYour blog serves as encouragement and inspiration - I have had PD symptoms since 2015.
ReplyDelete